In yet another historic milestone on the way toward toward revolutionizing life on earth, the cryptocurrency IOTA has announced that its long-awaited website refresh is complete.
“Along with the discovery of the scientific method and the creation of the Internet, our “tangle” technology represents a paradigm shift of the highest order,” said David Sonstebo, IOTA’s founder. “IOTA is changing the way humans interact with machines, and machines interact with each other. Our long-awaited website refresh represents an epochal moment in history.
“Also, just as an aside, I think everyone in the cryptocurrency realm should move away from ‘cryptohype’ and toward real world use cases.”
Sonstebo said that once IOTA’s tangle technology was completely mature, it would usher in a million year technological utopia.
“The Tangle will solve many of mankind’s greatest challenges,” he said. “Our lifespans will increase radically. Production will rise so dramatically that working for money will become optional. It’s even possible that one day we’ll be able to send MIOTA between wallets without losing it 90-percent of the time. Imagine that!”
Not everyone was convinced, however.
“It’s a website bro,” said Colin LeMahieu, founder of NANO, a rival cryptocurrency. “The last guy who had David Sonstebo’s combination of hubris and unkempt facial hair was Charles Manson — and we saw how that worked out.”