Massive Crypto Adoption Milestone: Bitcoin Now Owns 1.8 Percent of the Venezuelan Sex Worker Market

Another day, another massive milestone in global cryptocurrency adoption.

A new report from the Zurich-based Cryptocurrency Research Institute (CRI) has confirmed that Bitcoin is now involved in a staggering 1.8 percent of all transactions made by Venezuelan sex workers.

“This is one more giant step on the road to creating the Internet of Money,” said Andreas Antonopoulos, a leading cryptocurrency theorist. “The era of global Bitcoin adoption — and digitally-facilitated gonorrhea infections – is truly at hand.”

Not everyone was equally thrilled by this development, however.

Noted fireworks enthusiast and Bitcoin Cash creator Roger Ver scoffed at the CRI report.

Ver claimed that Bitcoin Cash has recently signed a series of exclusive deals that dwarf Bitcoin in terms of real world adoption.

“We’re now the official currency of Uzbekistan’s third-largest alpaca breeding farm,” he said. “You want to buy a thoroughbred alpaca with championship bloodlines in Central Asia, Bitcoin Cash is your preferred gateway.

“Fiat is on the fucking ropes, brother.”