John McAfee Comes Clean in Our Exclusive Interview: “I Killed That Bastard in Belize — and He Richly Deserved it.”

Over the course of his long life, John McAfee has been many things: Computer security pioneer, devotee of mind-altering substances, Caribbean exile and — more recently — a self-styled cryptocurrency expert.

He’s also had a contentious relationship with this publication, regularly denouncing LamboDreams’ coverage of him via his popular Twitter account.

All of that, however, is history: We’re excited to announce two major developments. First, the esteemed John McAfee has agreed to become a minority investor in LamboDreams Media. Second, as part of this new agreement, he agreed to sit down for an exclusive, no-holds-barred interview at his Tennessee compound.

As you’ll see, McAfee’s tendency toward self-promotion and outlandish statements remains as strong as ever.

(The following interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity).

LD: Mr. McAfee, very happy to be here.

JM: As the Black Eyed Peas once said, let’s get this bitch started.

LD: OK…why don’t we begin with the question that’s been on everyone’s mind…what happened in Belize?

Editor’s note: (McAfee was named a “person of interest” in the 2012 unsolved slaying of his neighbor in Belize).

JM: Ah yes, Belize. As you’ll recall I maintained my neighbor was accidentally killed by the Belizean government. The government was actually trying to kill me; they went to the wrong house instead. Sounds plausible as shit, right?

LD: Well…

JM: The truth is I killed him.

LD: You did?

JM: Absolutely. I killed that bastard in Belize and he richly deserved it.

LD: Why John?

JM: Self-defense. I knew who he was. He revealed himself to me when we were peaking during a particularly violent ibogaine trip. The cosmic mystery was solved, right there in my living room. The messiah himself was sharing my crack pipe…in fact, he was monopolizing that bitch.

LD: You were smoking crack and ibogaine with Jesus?

JM: Jesus? No, the real messiah, man — the cipher wrapped in an enigma stuffed in a riddle. The turducken of enigmas: Satoshi Nakamoto.

LD: Satoshi was your neighbor?

JM: This is true. If you’ll recall I began publicly fixating on cryptocurrency at this point. Satoshi broke it all down for me during one epic, five day binge. But he was paranoid, man — thought the CIA was on his ass. And they were.

LD: So…if we can just rewind this for a second…who exactly was Satoshi Nakamoto? Hal Finney? Nick Szabo?

JM: None of the above. He’s a corpse, man. I had to cut him down. He came at me hard.

LD: And you’re sober right now, John? (mutual laughter).

JM: As a judge. Let’s talk about something else.

LD: You’ve taken a lot of criticism for shilling coins on Twitter.

JM: Yeah I have — and you claimed I had “Chronic Shitcoin Shilling Disorder” in one of your articles. Assholes.

LD: Well how do you respond?

JM: How do you think I respond? Guilty as charged. You pay me, I shill your product. I’d shill Bitconnect , Confido and FalconCoin simultaneously if the price is right (laughter). The crack pipe doesn’t refill itself, bro. But all that’s changing.

LD: Why are you being so candid, John?

JM: I’ve been a hedonist most of my life — chase pumps and do bumps has been my motto. But I’ve come to discover that mindless hedonism is soul destroying. I’m done chasing fleeting highs. I’m walking a righteous path, and part of that is rigorous honesty. John CrackAfee is dead; in his place is a new, more enlightened being.

LD: Does this “rigorous honesty” apply to your next “Coin of the Week” selection?

JM: Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves (laughter). Old McAfee can only change so much, so soon.

Check back soon for part two of our exclusive interview with John McAfee.