Friends and associates of eccentric tech pioneer John McAfee report he is doing well after entering treatment for ESSD — a rare psychological disorder that causes sufferers to compulsively tweet out endorsements for shitcoins.
“Fortunately we were able to host an intervention before his illness reached the terminal stage,” said James Alford, McAfee’s groundskeeper and business manager. “John is already on the road to recovery.”
Friends say McAfee initially resisted the intervention forcefully, dashing into the bathroom to furiously tweet out an endorsement for PandaCoin before associates managed to rip the IPhone X from his hand.
“John knows he has a problem but he is powerless to stop himself,” Alford said. “When someone told him about PutinCoin he immediately started breaking out into a cold sweat and had to be sedated.”
While friends say McAfee has made progress, his recovery remains fragile.
“John still refuses to liquidate his $70 million position in DentaCoin,” Alford said. “He still refreshes Cryptopia hundreds of times an hour. He has a tattoo on his back of Justin Sun riding a dolphin through space that he refuses to have removed.”
“We’re all taking it just one day at a time right now,” Alford said. “And we pray to god all this buzz about Garlicoin won’t cause him to relapse.”