Coinbase Reverses Strategy, Announces it Will Be Dropping Coins in 2018

Markets were rattled today after Coinbase, the world’s leading leading cryptocurrency exchange, announced it would be de-listing coins rather than adding them in 2018.

“This is a decision we don’t take lightly,” said Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong. “But after much reflection, we’ve decided that four coins simply offer consumers too much choice. We believe that should we add a fifth coin most buyers would become paralyzed by indecision.”

Cryptocurrency market analyst Tony Sandberg  said the decision was not entirely unexpected.

“Buying cryptocurrency at Coinbase is like going to a shopping mall in North Korea — the selection is non-existent,” Sandberg said. “In North Korea, you don’t go to buy a shirt; you go to buy “shirt.” Coinbase is hewing closely to this model.”

Sandberg said he was hopeful the impending coin contraction would ease the strain on Coinbase and improve customer service.

“They’ve really struggled to keep pace with growth,” Sandberg said. “I know one guy who got married, divorced and remarried before he got a response to his help ticket.”

Armstrong refused to identify the coins the were facing imminent de-listing. Sandberg, however, said signals point in one direction.

“When I think of Litecoin I think of things like vestigial tails, the human appendix and the Montreal Expos,” he said. “Archaic stuff that no longer has a place in this world.”

Following Coinbase’s announcement, Cryptopia CEO Paul Hogan III announced his exchange would be adding 32,643 coins in the first quarter of 2018.